Wallowing…

I like to wallow.  It only seems appropriate since I haven’t made any progress in my love life.  Did I think it would be easy to just pick-up and move on?  Nope.  Did I think the Newbie was going to call me up and confess he made a huge mistake and wants to be with me?  Nope.  But damn, a girl can dream.  I miss him a lot.  And I miss the ex of all exes even too.  Not having either of them in my life really makes me feel incomplete, but this is a growing experience and my path…yada, yada, yada.  It doesn’t make it any easier.

Yes, I have been relying on my friends, family and work to keep me busy…but it’s those late nights or the minute you touchdown from a plane ride or the rush hour traffic that makes me wish I had him to call; just to see how his day went and tell him about mine.  It’s hard thinking about someone constantly and not being able to pick up the phone to see how they are doing.  I’m always wondering what progress is being made with his work or his new house or the potential new deal he was getting ready to sign.  It is so hard not being a part of those moments and experiences anymore.  I think that is what I’m missing the most, not being there to share in the ups and the downs of life.

And don’t you worry, I have a birthday coming up.  So I am sure I will spend the next week or two thinking about where I am in my life and where I wish I was.  Fun times…happy 26th to me!

Ray

PS: I know it’s for the best and will get easier…I just needed to have a little rant and get some things off my chest.

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