I tend to think that I’ve moved on from people I’ve dated but truthfully, I’ve just buried my feelings for them deep, deep within me. Unfortunately, they come rushing back to the surface when they call, email or text me. Sometimes good emotions, sometimes terrible emotions.
There is one person particular person who can elicit joy and hatred out of me. I was minding my own business, watching The Voice when I received his email. I can only say that I was in shock. It’s been some time since his name evoked feelings of longing. I also tend to run into him in cycles so I think I prepare myself for it. This time, I did not expect it, not even a little bit.
I am surprised by how easily he can affect me after a year and half post breakup. That’s how long we dated, I shouldn’t be easily carried by him. It’s a terrible realization that maybe I’m not as “over” him as I thought. I, unfortunately, will carry a torch for him. Until infinity and beyond.