My Fears Around Being a Boss

When I started my new job, I became a boss.  I actually had someone reporting to me two jobs ago, but this seems different.  This time, I am running my own department.  I’m the head of the department with no one to go to except my CEO.  It was scary, but exciting all at the same time.

I’ve strived to be a good boss, someone that my employees appreciate in hopes that they won’t quit and go somewhere else.  One of the things my CEO stressed when I took the job was finding a way to keep my two employees happy and a part of the team.  I’m thinking about this more and more as the year is coming to a close because we will be having evaluations soon.

I hope my staff feel like they can discuss their roles and future freely with me.  Now that we have gone through an annual meeting together, I feel as if we have bonded which I believe helps in the communication.  I do feel as though I might need to grow some balls in order to communicate some of my feelings better.  Being a boss is tough!  I can’t be everyones best friend, but I sure do hope everyone likes me or at least isn’t talking a bunch of shit behind my back!!!!

Ray

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Here comes the bride….

K-Ten/Penguin/My Sister/Brother in Law and I had bought tickets months ago to go up the Washington Monument at 6:00pm on August 9th.  The 4 of us arrived early via Uber so we decided to walk down to the World World 2 Memorial.  As we were walking past the Washington Monument, I was reading the back of the tickets and it specified no weapons, knives, explosives, etc.  We were discussing if we would have to go through a metal detector which might be an issue for my sister cause she likes to carry a pocket knife in her purse.  Guess to fend off all those crazy animals she sees out in the country.
The Penguin pushed the subject one more time which I blew off as irritating…like how do I know what we are going to have to do inside?!?!?!
We made the walk down and played tourist taking fun pictures if front of MD/PA/VA.  We started walking back up to the Washington Monument (K-Ten was texting as she was almost there and didn’t know where to meet us).  The Penguin wanted to take some pictures in front on the Washington Monument…weird because when does a guy ever want to take pictures?!?!?!  I was kinda suprised, but we all rotated around to take goofy ones.  The Penguin then said me/him should take a serious picture.  I leaned in and he made some odd movement, but leaned in as well to take a picture.  Then he dropped to one knee!
He said something along the lines of “Will you do me the honor and marry me.”  I responded “Are you kidding…awkward pause…YES.”  I proceeded to take the ring out of the box and then realized he should put it on so I handed it back to him and stared at the shinny diamond!  Some passers by offered their congrats (it was nice because a lot of people weren’t around us).  Sister/Brother in Law gave us hugs and then we had to hike it to the entrance because it was almost 6:00pm!
K-Ten came walking up to meet us (no idea anything had happened) and I shoved the ring into her face 🙂  It was pure happiness.
Typical questions I have been asked so will spare you…
1.  The Penguin did ask my Dad (at the check out line at Lowes a couple weeks ago)
2.  He has had the ring for about a month
3.  Only his mom and BFF knew he bought a ring, but didn’t know when he was proposing
4.  Sister/Brother in Law I had no idea
5.  I am hoping for a Septmber 2015 wedding
6.  Our guest list is currently 340 people which WILL NOT WORK because I cannot afford that shit
Be ready for some awesome posts as we navigate the wedding planning process.  My sister is already calling me a Bridezilla!!!!
Ray

Feeling Lonely on a Friday Night

The other Friday, Penguin had a fantasy football draft.  I was invited to go over to his friends house while they drafted, but I felt bad leaving Gypsy behind for the second night in a row.

I elected to stay home, but felt weird all day about being home alone on a Friday night.  I realized the other week, that I have no issues staying at home on a Friday night when I have company (aka the Penguin).  When people ask what I did on Friday, I don’t even care when I say just stayed home and watched tv or a movie.  But this Friday, it felt odd.

Then I was getting sad before he left and we joked that I am constantly leaving him alone during the week for dinner.  That just seems different though!

So instead of sitting around and moping, I created a to-do list and knocked things off one by one!  Sometimes going out to drink just takes too much energy.  I like low-key Friday nights.  How do you like to spend your Friday nights?

Ray

2 More Years?

The other weekend, the Penguin made a comment that I was going to be waiting another 2 years for him to save up before proposing.  I was shocked!  Two years from today, makes me 29 and a half which means we wouldn’t be getting married until I am 30….I’m not that concerned about being married in my 30s, BUT I have a lot of other future plans that will then be conflicting.

1.  Trip to Africa for my 30th birthday

2.  Buying a new house after living in my current place for 5 years (age 31)

3.  The possibility of having children (age 32-34)…getting married at age 30 doesn’t leave a lot of marriage time before having a child!

4.  Other friends getting married!  I don’t want to have too many conflicting weddings!!!!

Mind you, the Penguin is 3 years older than me.  So if we get married when I’m 30, he will be 33 and then he will be in his late 30’s when kids come around (if we have kids) and that seems old!!!  I just don’t understand how it will take an additional 2 years before proposing!

Ray

 

Friends within the Villages

I live in an area that has a TON of residential units!  My building has 6 units while my little courtyard area probably has 20 total units.  I have made NO friends within my courtyard. Yes, I know some people by first name, but that is about it.  I just met one person that has been living within my building for over 2 years and when he asked how long I’d been there he was shocked it had almost been a year.  A full year of not meeting someone within my building seems crazy to me.

I really wish I had friends within my complex.  I keep telling myself to go to the monthly meetings or join a committee, but that hasn’t happened yet.  Maybe soon!

I do meet a lot of people walking the dog, but no friendships have been formed.  The great thing that happened recently was realizing one of Jeff’s friend of a friend lives literally 2 blocks from us.  We have now become pool buddies and Sunday dinner friends.  It is really a great feeling to have someone so close!  I envision great fun being had with this new group of friends!  I just still wish I could form some other bonds with people within the community.

Any suggestions on how to do that for an introvert like myself?

Ray

Car-less

I sold my car last weekend.  It was time, but I didn’t realize how emotional I would be about finally taking the plunge.  I have had that car for almost 10 years!  Now I have nothing….well, I have the Penguin’s car.  I really want to avoid using his car because I feel like he might hold it against me in the end.  He is paying a car payment and insurance and has joked about me contributing, but if that is required I will continue to rely on public transportation.

I pretty much use public transportation 90% of my life.  To/from work…to/from dinners…I only put a couple hundred miles on my car since January.  It just wasn’t necessary to have it anymore.  The Penguin was typically driving on the weekends for errands and such.  He likes to drive and I hate it, so it just made sense.

I simply keep reassuring myself that I can rent a car, use Zip car, borrow a family members car or buy a new car if this doesn’t work out!  My car was started to have issues anyways so it seemed like the perfect time.  I sold it at Carmax.  Got exactly what I was hoping for and the process was super easy/stress free.

It feels good, but weird.

Ray

Feeling Alone at Work

It has finally hit me that I do not have friends at work.  It’s starting to get a little sad and lonely.  I have no one to confide in or complain to.  I miss my friends from my old jobs.  I just keep reminding myself that I will make friends!  It is still early and it basically took me going to my first annual meeting at each job to form bonds with people.

My annual meeting here isn’t till November so I hope I might form some bonds before that, but we shall see.  I have a site visit in July which 6 staff members are going on so there could be some good bonding time then!  BUt right now I sit in my office, eating my lunch, writing blog posts.  Sad panda.

The thing that hurt the most was when my colleague (who works for me) asked if I was going to “this lunch thing.”  I responded, “no…what lunch thing?”  His response was, “Oh, that’s awkward, never mind” and he walked away.  I never figured it out.  It wasn’t on anyone’s calendar and it could have been a good bye lunch for someone’s last day, but it definitely made everything that much sadder.

There is a bright side…I got invited to dinner next week when some offsite co-workers are in town.  So that should be fun!  I might make friends after all 🙂

Ray